Bad Habits

I’ve noticed That I’ve started to pick up some habits that I think for myself are “bad habits” only because I’ve started to do these daily. As soon as I walk in my house I grab my bowl and spark up; especially after a long day at work. Usually, I go home and rip my clothes off and just go to my room while my girlfriend stays in the living room so that I can recharge from being around certain draining energies. Being around hyperactive people for more than 20 minutes is just too much, but 8 got damn hours? It’s draining me so much to the point I chose to smoke weed after work every day to calm my nerves. Since I’ve picked up this habit, I haven’t been as moody; as soon as I hit the bowl I’m feeling great and level-headed. Now here’s where the problem comes in; it’s extremely unhealthy for me to be inhaling smoke into my lungs at all. Also, I haven’t been facing my problems heads on like I usually do. As soon as I pick up that lighter it’s like I forget all my problems! It worries me because I really don’t want to stop because it’s helping my anxiety and moods swings that are out of this world. Every day I have to apologize to my wonderful girlfriend for my wrongdoing, without my green I’m a bitch. At least I’ve acknowledged I have a problem and I need to figure out a way to limit my intake. If it was legal here I could buy edibles and I wouldn’t have to worry about the smoke and I wouldn’t consume it every day.

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5 Comments

  1. I totally get self medicating to soothe the anxiety demons but be careful, you don’t want anything to stump your mental growth. Becoming dependent on a substance can create another source of anxiety. Or at least that was the case for me.

    Keep walking in your light.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, that’s my biggest fear. I’m working on ways to substitute the substance with something healthy, like going to the gym more. It’s hard, but it’ll be worth it. Thanks for your feedback!

      Like

  2. Certainly hope you find that balance… Moderation instead of over consumption. I do feel bad that its not legal where you’re from. Smh! If you ever visit DC, let me know! Thanks for the great pieces also.

    Liked by 1 person

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