Parallel

Parallel

I always see you in my mind

I’ve created a world where I go and meet you

Always feel like a new experience when I’m here

I’m always smiling

You share your truths with me

You know exactly how to move around me

I’ve grown accustomed to watching you move so elegantly

My eyes follow right after you

I created this moment for us

I might be sill dreaming

But I knew you’d enjoy it

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Veil

Veil

You pretend there isn’t a storm

Nothing to protect you from the rain and hail

You walk barefoot in the alley

Glass hidden in the cracks of the pavement

Penetrating the souls of your feet

You never complained

You took on the ocean

You never swam in anything deeper than 5ft

Yet you rode waves

shaping your own reality

Living freely

You never feared a thing

You said it never existed

It was all an illusion

I found your diary

Your fears were hidden in thin pages

Wrinkles on each

Written in cursive

Numbered

I was number one

Love like Honey

Love like Honey

Lips like honey

Locked with intentions

I bite and suck, not missing a drop

So sweet and soft

Leaving my thighs sticky

You follow the aroma

Nose suddenly buried in my flower

I bloomed on a sunny Thursday morning

Your acrylic nails grip my plump ass

Watching The dip in your back

The motion was in your bare hips

The vibrations between my lips as you moan

I inhale

Then release

On your sweet Lips, like honey

The Art of Letting Go

The Art of Letting Go

Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to myself. I’ve begun to acknowledge the words I put into the universe; it always seems to come back 10x depending on what you put out. I’ve been extremely vulnerable these past few months and it’s taken me back a bit. I’m so raw and honest about my emotions and my position in life right now that I feel as though people are walking away. It’s really sad because I care for these people so much, but the reciprocation is nonexistent. I love and care for myself as well as them so much that I am allowing these beings to be set free from me. It hurts to see them slowing disappearing, but I know it is vital that I let go. In order for me to continue flourishing, I must do what feels right for all parties. Letting go and evolving into the woman I hope to be. Love yourself endlessly so that no one else feels they have to.

YOU

YOU

Even though you are sad a lot

I look at you and smile

You are the most beautiful person I have ever known

Your heart is so big

You love the people that are in your life to the fullest

Your worst days are actually your best days

You walk through life like it’s your last

You appreciate the small things in life

The people in your life genuinely care for you and love you

Life isn’t always easy, but you live for the hard days

The days that challenge you the most

The days that push you out of your comfort zone

Nothing comes easy, but you’d rather work for it anyway

You pray for others more than you pray for yourself

Waking up is enough to be happy about for you

Seeing your family happy enough to live on

You acknowledge how special and beneficial you are to this earth

You serve a purpose

You simply, love

I am so happy to be you

Living with Anxiety

Living with Anxiety

Living with anxiety is like being disheveled in the grocery store line when the cashier hands you your change because you fear you’re taking too long. So instead of taking a breather and relax; I drop all of the coins on the floor trying to juggle the receipt, the coins, and my ten dollar bill.┬áLiving with anxiety is like crawling into bed and finally closing your eyes, but then the thought of your baby sister falling out of a window and you find yourself crying because it felt incredibly real. This happens to me a lot actually and it really sucks; sometimes I have to take drugs (sleeping medicine) to get myself to sleep when those days sneak up on me. The fear of driving because there are┬ápeople watching you and waiting for you to fail, but you tell yourself to stay strong. Driving used to exhaust me to the point where I literally have to tap out for the rest of the day because I have physically and mentally drained myself by talking to my self the entire drive. I grip the steering wheel so hard as if I am holding the car together and if I let go it will all fall apart; my entire body tenses up. Once I get out of the car, it feels like I’ve been working out for hours and my hands start to shake. Every single time I get out of that car I ask myself “But did you die though?” Because it’s reassurance that I made it and I need to stop being so hard on myself. It’s still a struggle to get behind the wheel, but a little Beyonce makes everything better.

Do you want to know what also sucks? Thinking the people you care about don’t want anything to do with you, so you choose not to reach out to them until you feel like it’s the right time. Or wanting to be invited out to events with friends, but not having the energy to go because the thought of going means having to find something to wear and having to converse with people. I love going out talking to new people and just having a good time, it’s just getting there and removing those toxic thoughts out of my mind. Over the past year and some change, I have grown some tough skin and I have been talking to myself daily; words of affirmation really works. Sometimes you have to talk to yourself in your own love language. Loving myself and telling myself everything is okay when I am doing great almost always get me through my anxiety attacks. Living with anxiety is like living in fear every single day of my life, I’m always thinking ahead to avoid any obstacles. It’s so exhausting, which is why I take time to myself these days; so much self-love is needed. Take care of yourself first and you might not even have to worry later; you’ll be prepared. Meditate and breathe.